Kids Say the Darndest Things

I came across a list I had started of "Quotables" from the kids this year.  Most of the things we hear are "you have to be there" moments but I think others might find a little humor in this selection.

Me: What was there before Creation?
Child: NOTHING! It was like a pool with no algae.

"Is an octopus nocturnal or turnal?"

Me: Class, you are too loud.  You are right next to your friend. You need to use your beautiful inside voice to talk.  Listen to how I talk to Sally...
Hi Sally, what would you like to play?
Sally: Uh...purple.
Me. Hm. Okay...See class?

"I drank all my milk for breakfast today so I'm ready to be line leader."

After spilling his entire lunch on the classroom floor...
"It's okay.  I'm going to leave it there for the dog."

During a lesson on using our imagination I asked the kids what their crayons would say if they could talk:
Child 1: Hi.
Child 2: I love you
Child 3: Goodbye.
Child 4: They would take their wrappers off and yell I'M NAKED!

Me: What was the name of the ship the pilgrims were on?
Child: The Cauliflower

Boy: She keeps calling me a girl and I don't even have a ponytail.

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Child: Tall.
Me: Well, a job.  What job do you want to have? A doctor, teacher, policeman...
Child: I really just want to be tall.

Child: My dad's in California.
Me: That sounds like fun.
Child: Yeah, he's there singing about Jesus because they don't know Jesus there.

Fellow teacher on Grandparent's Day: What a great line! If I was your grandmother I would love to see this during my visit today!
Child: Well, your already old.

After reading Cat in the Hat (about a fun-filled day with a surprise visit from the Cat in the Hat on a rainy day stuck inside)...
Child: They should have just watched a movie.

Boy to a girl in time-out: Yeah, I don't think we can get married anymore.  I just...I just can't after that.

Me: What does your Dad do at work?
Boy: He makes bacon to bring home.

Girl (everyday): Bye Mrs. Cousin! I hope you have a beautiful rainbow sunshine purple day!

Girl: I just did self-control.  I was thinking about pulling Sally's hair but I thought in my brain and I didn't do it.

Me: You need to sit out.  That was not kind.
Child: Well, Jesus still loves me you know.

Child: My dad just Works! Works! Works! ALLLLways workin'! And my MOM GOES SHOPPING!